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Dix on the left, the rest on the right.... |
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Here's some REAL DIX!! |
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"I woke up this morning and all of my stuff
had been stolen...
and replaced by exact duplicates."
Here is
something from the 70's you should remember
Schoolhouse Rock
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Did you ever stop to think,
then forget to start again? Ever wonder why doctors call what they
do "practice"?
Ever wonder why why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite
of progress? What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A Mega-sore-ass
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lota-puss
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Q: what do you call all of the
useless skin around the vagina?
A: a woman A bear said to a rabbit,
"Do you have problems with poop sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit said, "No, why?"
Then the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but
a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
How do you know when a woman is about to
say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told
me..." "I am" is reportedly the shortest
sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I
do" is the longest sentence?
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This
monkey has some balls (video)
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A
masturbating baboon?(video)
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Ants don’t sleep.
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A priest and a rabbi are walking down
the street when they see a little boy....the priest says
"let's screw him".............
The rabbi says "out of what?"
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because sheep don't have strings. |
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Four men were bragging about how smart
their dogs were. The first, an engineer, had a dog named
"T-Square." The second, an accountant, had a dog named
"Slide Rule." The third, a chemist, had a dog called
"Measure," and the fourth man was a Union member.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square,
do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took
some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a
square and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good, but the accountant
said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and
said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide Rule went out
into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He
then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good, but the chemist said his
dog could do better. he called his dog and said,
"Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to
the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce
glass from the cupboard,
then poured in exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was very good, then they turned to
the Union member and said, "What can your dog do?" The
Union member stood up, called his dog and said, "Coffee
Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet,
ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper,
fucked the other three dogs, claimed he'd injured his
back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe
working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation,
and went home on sick leave.
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| Where'd Joe go, oh, there he is.... |
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Not sure what happened? |
23' shark, 3234lbs |
They keep some strange pets in Nigeria |
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Over 200mph on a motorcycle, fricken stupid
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You
should learn your abilities
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hmmm
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ha
ha ha, idiot
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Lucky to be
alive
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OUCH!
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owned buy a
jackass! HAHAHA!
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Did
this hundreds of times and never
swallowed the quarter
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I hope they
showed him this
vid when sobered up...........
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you
asked for it!!
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lucky you
didn't piss on it
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someone shoot this idiot
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I'd like to
slap this moron
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Justice
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Good advice
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I
hope it really hurt
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confusing |
These seem to be moving |
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When words
become scrabbled!
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| GEORGE BUSH
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HE BUGS GORE |
| DORMITORY |
DIRTY ROOM |
| EVANGELIST |
EVIL'S AGENT |
| PRESBYTERIAN |
BEST IN PRAYER |
| DESPERATION |
A ROPE ENDS IT |
| THE MORSE CODE
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HERE COME DOTS |
| SLOT MACHINES
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CASH LOST IN ME |
| ANIMOSITY |
IS NO AMITY |
| MOTHER-IN-LAW |
WOMAN HITLER |
| SNOOZE ALARMS
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ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S |
| A DECIMAL POINT
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I'M A DOT IN PLACE |
| THE EARTHQUAKES
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THAT QUEER SHAKE |
| ELEVEN PLUS TWO
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TWELVE PLUS ONE |
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When I was younger, I hated going to
weddings ... it seemed that all of my
aunts and the grandmotherly types used
to come up to me, poking me in the ribs
and cackling me, telling me, "You're
next. You're next."
They stopped that stuff after I started
doing the same thing to them at
funerals. |
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President George Bush is visiting an
elementary school today and he visits one of the
classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related
to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the
President if he would like to lead the class in the
discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the illustrious
leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best
friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street
and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a
tragedy."
"No," says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus
carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone
involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what
we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone
here who can give me an example of a tragedy?
"Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy
raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force
One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Bush, were struck by a missile
and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist like Osama
bin Laden, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic," exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you
tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an
accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss."
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What's the difference
between acne and a Catholic Priest?
Acne will usually not come on a kid's face until around
13 or 14 years of age.Why do women have tits?
So you have something to look at while they're
talking.
Why does Miss Piggy use a honey-and-vinegar
douche?
Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork
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Click here to
see what this little guy can do |
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy. |
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A little old lady was running up and down the
halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up
the hem of her nightgown
and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly
man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a
moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take
the soup."
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This dude is talented, rocks with no instrument |
A new form of matter, not solid, not liquid, not
gas.... |
| I was
told this is a true story, if so, WoW Well, I debated all day whether I should share
with all of you what happened to me last night,
so since I can't tell my family I'll tell my
fellow juicing family my story. Ok so yesterday
was my cheat day. Probably put away about 8k
cals including a lot of alcohol last night. I'm
at the usual weekend frat parties and I've been
talking to this girl for the majority of the
night. She's 19, so still a little on the
immature side, but I'm only 21 so its all good.
Anyway I've talked to this girl a few times
before, and to make a long story short I ended
up going back with her to her dorm. About
another 8shots later, we end up fooling around
on her bed, didn't bang her, but did pretty much
everything else. So about 10min's into her
giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit
in my life. All my meals were followed by 3tsp
of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me
to combat the carbs a little.
Anyway I'm holdin my #2 in and finally it goes
away. We both end up passing out on her bed,
she's butt naked and I'm in my boxers. I must
have passed out about 10min after she did around
3am. I wake up at about 8am to piss and I find
myself covered in shit. I'm thinking WTF, and
what happened was I shit myself when I was
sleeping. It was all over the bed, sheets,
etc.... I'm freakin out.. So I did the most
horrible thing in the world. She's sleeping with
her back towards me, so I take my boxers off,
scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the
inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little
on the back of her hammies. I get dressed and
leave..
This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I
didn't know what else to do though. Anyway, I'm
really gonna have to avoid her and I have no
clue what I'm gonna do when I end up running
into her. |
Incredible shot!!! |
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